Experience, Language and Story

                    “I” am not only the part of me that meditates and experiences itself as part of the universe, but also the body that relates to it. I experience myself as the relationship between the two forms of being. When I was a child, I lived in this experience of myself without having the language or understanding of that aspect of myself. I did not know why no one spoke of it to me, this obviously mysterious and vibrant, vibrating  element of life. I felt a bit alienated much of my life, as a result, since my existence was comprised of this sense of connectedness,  these silent though consuming energies that pulsed through my world. Was I alone?

No, although I heard no reference to it, I felt what I heard in the music my parents listened to that permeated our home. I was more in touch with my reaction to it than the fact that there were actual people creating this music. (I am alive and being spoken to!! ) Billie Holiday especially connected with me in a palpable soulfulness I felt so personally that I experienced her as my closest friend at 7! Language played such a limited role in my life at that time.

Living with such deep feeling  and profound experiences and not having the language – not hearing the language – to describe it, left me hungry to explore this world, feeling that my experience was either unique, or that it was a common experience no one cared or dared to talk about. But over time, I came to see that was what artists did, and that I was one of them.

As I  learned more about the outer world, I was also being lead to recognize myself.  I had spent a lifetime listening . Now what I needed was to express myself. But how? There is a world that I am engaged in that I want to share. I want to share the language of the process. I want to share the process itself.  I want to  share it with another Laura lost in that world without words, without voice. I hope to share the wonder and comfort of the world I see and hear. There are no directions here, but there is always a voice to guide  us when we are  willing to be still and listen. Always. And it is that voice that comes from the hearing and the listening that this journey is all about.