stream of consciousness

or 24 WAYS TO SAY THE SAME THING

Listen long and hard

to silence

in stillness

lovingly waiting for further

future blossoming

unfurling

becoming

as waves of moments

flow into the next

one 

after 

another

this moment gently glides home into this moment

gently smooths itself into this moment

softly slides itself into this moment

.

the wonder of this life

is where i choose to put my attention

where i practice putting my attention

where i am free 

to almost be

these textures

these colors

this hum

these sounds

these movements

emanating from the interior

.

gathering

an impulse 

to collect

belong

stitch together

this diverse collection

this togetherness

this masterwork of life

.

inquiry into interior (life)

is really 

a pathway to 

the enchantment of the whole

the window to

the soul

.

the interior

leads to 

an awakened re-cognition of the world

.

this listening into

one’s interior life

lights a candle

with which

we can see

and feel

.

so then darkness 

is just the experience 

of abandonment

or 

ignorance of

our own interior

.

a sufferer 

isolated

.

an orphan

abandoned

.

this suffering

in itself

is not really 

the cause 

of suffering

for

when feelings are attended (to)

there is comfort

the end of loneliness and isolation

so

it is the fear and avoidance

of

feeling

that causes

the suffering

.

the suffering

is 

the result

of 

a 

split

self

avoiding

communion

.

the

attempt

to avoid

feeling

and

escape

pain

creates

alienation

.

the fear that drives this ignorance is innocent

perhaps

unaware of the consequences

perhaps

overly burdened by responsibility

perhaps 

simply afraid to face strong feelings

perhaps

entirely unaware

that those feelings

will remain

until 

they are acknowledged

and loved

and healed

.

it is easy 

to believe

they are a distraction

to be pushed aside

.

it is easy

to use busyness

or other addictions

to avoid the interior life

.

it is easy

to believe

the exterior life 

is more important

essential to survival

the interior life

may seem irrelevant

may seem like a luxury

.

certainly

a lack of time

or

the excuse of

a lack of time

may make it seem so

.

however

the interior life

is also

the key

to connectedness

and belonging

.

to belong, to connect to oneself

is to also

feel connected

to the world

to others

to life itself.

.

this is gathering

gathering yourself in your arms

holding your heart in esteem

and 

learning to listen into/feel your feelings

until

you have found comfort

and felt belonging

.

You really are the one you have been waiting for.

.

*footnote

those thoughts and emotions and reactions running around your head demanding attention and looping through old stories are not your feelings. 

your feelings have conveniently been placed inside your body so you can,with practice, learn to sense the difference. 

however, those noisy monkeys in your head may be trying to attract your attention to deeper feelings. (again, to be found lower in your body)

to do this, simply remove your attention from the fire alarm of reactivity in your head and move it downward away from the noise and into the silent stillness.

it is recommended to find a quiet cozy place to pursue this intimate inquiry. you may need to learn to be still and listen to your silent self. 

patience will be required.

And dear human, asking for help is such a beautiful thing when it is just too hard or scary.