there is some muscle

that pulls our attention

toward the dark

some force

a falling toward

inexorable reclamation

death dreaming?

How many ways

are we invited to die?

a teen’s intro to impotence

a loss too large to bear

a desire to close the eyes

and never see again

a swallowed sense of self

so small now

a wish

to un-see

what has been felt

to be

SO MUCH LARGER

than

thissmallself

YET

I sense

an impersonal kindness afoot

leading me through this thick and thorny overgrowth

on to

some recovery

of

what I call my self