Why Keep a Journal?

When I suggest students keep a journal, a squirming resistance often appears.  A sense of being burdened by the idea. Questions come: What am I supposed to say? Stories of what happened today? What I saw or did? Vent my emotions? Express my feelings, dreams and disappointments? My philosophies and theories? Is it useful to keep a diary of what I do? Will I want to read a history of my life to revive memories? Will my kids? Will I want my kids to read my journals?

I do it to explore, express, play or think, but most importantly, (I now know) to cultivate a relationship with myself. The process of listening patiently deepens my understanding of myself, gives me time to apprehend what I may never have sensed, remembered or spoken. When I began writing a journal as a teenager, my emotions were ready to spill over onto the page. While expressing emotion was a primary need when I was younger, I find that my listening seems to have expanded from my ears into my body and beyond. My attention encompasses a larger sphere and I find I have become especially interested in the process, its byproducts and what a reader might understand from what I say. The voice develops, I believe from this act of listening, feeling, patience and the search for communication.

I have a suggestion to take some of the pressure off if you find yourself freezing at the thought of writing. What if, when you don’t have an urge to write something specific, you just sit still and listen and wait until you hear something…and no matter what it is, you just write it down? You be the listener, the stenographer. It may begin as gobble-de-gook, and evolve into something of interest to you. Or it may simply clear your mind.

Julia Cameron brought this process to great popularity in THE ARTIST’S WAY and called it Morning Pages. For her, it was a brain-clearing exercise. She suggested writing longhand for five pages without reading it and then beginning your conscious writing in earnest.

I have used it that way, and as an exercise in listening. Like her, I do not correct myself, but I do read it and often find tidbits of interest. They may be related to my current activities, personal guidance of some sort, wordplay, emotional expression or messages from who knows where.

The journal is for you. No matter what comes through your hand, no matter the conscious value, you have practiced listening with your body, you have strengthened the relationship between your mind and your body, and this is a part of connecting with your voice. The more you do it, the closer you feel to yourself, your voice. And you will have given yourself the gift of attention. You will feel heard. After all, who else can really hear you the way you can?