living from your larger self : genshai

genshai

In his book, Aspire, Kevin Hall discovers the Hindi word, genshai, which points to the idea of not holding yourself as larger or smaller than anyone.  And I believe it is one vehicle to help us focus on our “larger” self, the part of us that feels connected to everything.

Marianne Williamson said in her now famous quote from Return to Love, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,  fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We sense the truth in these ideas immediately, and though we can easily translate them in our own way, it is easier said than done, isn’t it?

I often remind my acting/singing students (and forget, myself!) that they are able to choose where they put their attention when they are performing:

They may focus on either telling their story OR the judgments they are making. They cannot do both. They know from their bodies and feelings which feels better. The “chatter” in their minds doesn’t make them feel good.  On the other hand, the release, freedom and joy that comes from focusing on telling their stories is pleasurable, and in turn, assures them of positive responses from their audiences. We wish for others success since it inspires us, connects us and gives us pleasure.

Have you ever been in an audience when the performer is struck with self-consciousness? (Think elementary school concerts, for example) Everyone in the audience feels the tension, feels the embarrassment OF and FOR the performer. Conversely, we are freed by the liberated performer. An actor is one who seems NOT to “be acting”. He seems so natural. The same is true of other artists. We say they make it look so easy. So, assuming preparedness, wise choices and technique provide the form, it is the performer who is attending to his “larger” self who thrills us, touches us. She speaks for us and with us in this way. Genshai.

 What is that “larger” self? We have all felt the “smaller” self when we doubt, criticize, judge, (perhaps when we are inexperienced or haven’t prepared well). And we have all felt those moments of liberation when we are surrendering to our “larger” selves while relaxing in nature, involved in activities that take us deeply into our bodies, like yoga, meditation, running, dancing, sex. We lose ourselves with close friends, laughing and sharing stories. Activities that loosen and lighten us so that we play, imagine, create and feel connected to our surroundings and each other liberate us because we are attending to or operating from our “larger” self.

 The small self can be fearful, tyrannical and controlling. It is afraid of losing, doing the wrong thing, taking risks, looking foolish, failing. So, it creates tension within us. The joy can go out of our lives when we are too wrapped up in our small self; we may feel stiff muscles, difficulty breathing, disconnection from our lives, unloved and unloving.  We feel deprived and disconnected. From that space, we may judge ourselves or others: no genshai there!

On the other hand, when we surrender to our larger selves, we feel surrounded by beauty. We become a magnet for life. We feel connected. Genshai.  We feel life is bountiful and full of possibility and amazing people. We discover our brilliance, our compassion, our sexiness, our creativity, our wittiness, our sense of humor and our gratitude for this richness. We “come alive”. We feel like “a natural”.

 So is there something to change in order to dwell within either our “large” or “small” selves? Or is it simply a matter of choosing where we put our attention?

We are all attracted to a “natural” because that’s who WE are, at heart. Just remember, discipline is simply remembering what you want.

Oh yeah, and then doing it.